For a good laugh~

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Tue Mar 22, 2011 1:37 am

Jeeze, bear, that is awkward! Hide yo kids and hide yo wife!

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:14 pm

An 80 year-old man was stoned to death by his 28 year-old neighbor yesterday at a place 40 minutes from my house O_O. Awkward.....but regardless the letter was hilarious

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:54 pm

There's so many things that are offensive, I figure what's the point of getting riled up over every single thing. Let people have their fun (unless they're committing arson or something... o.o) and not be some stuck-up person when I, or other people don't know the whole story.

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:36 pm

It's possibly the best way to respond to someone being a little ignorant? I don't know, I just thought it was hilarious xD For obvious reasons~ Just glad that you and Midnight still find it funny oppose to offensive ^.^

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Sat Mar 19, 2011 6:41 pm

I'm also Christian, like Midnight. That was hilarious, though.

I think the ones near the end were funniest. Haha.. the football one...

I want to see a response for those now XD

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:52 pm

Hehe, I saw this earlier, and it totally made my morning Very Happy

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:40 pm

BAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I'm printing it... I WILL HANG IT! HAHAHHA THIS IS FUNNY!

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:36 am

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH love it

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Fri Mar 18, 2011 11:54 pm

I love you for posting this hahahah

Subject: Re: For a good laugh~ Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:18 pm

I'm a strong Christian....

This was frickin' funny! haha you have to have a sense of humour here and not take things too seriously! This is awesome! Thanks for sharing!

Subject: For a good laugh~ Fri Mar 18, 2011 9:02 pm

Alright so I don't know if this will offend any of you, so brace yourself! I personally found this incredibly entertaining and funny~ So much so I'm tempted to print it and post it somewhere xD But I most likely won't...

Anyways its a letter to someone named Dr. Laura, I haven't bothered looking into it, considering it was just on a blog I follow, I don't know the entire story, other then its pretty old. Here you go~

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

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