hey guys... some sad news.

Silberssss <3 (Yes I did that on purpose, it's a term of endearment okay?!) Not sure what I can write that everyone has not already said but you IS loved! By all of us and just because your posting is on hold doesn't mean you can't lurk around the site and be in OOC mode. (I like your story by the way) We're here if you need us. *slobbers* Stand proud and don't let the haters get you down. Words to live by right there. <3<3

You know when I was fifteen I came out to my parents. My mom loved the idea cuz I couldn't get pregnant lol but Silvers take this from a dyke cuz I'm a straight up one. I got my hair short and everything. If you love this girl and you know it and every moment feels right with her then BE WITH HER eventually your gonna leave your parents and live your own life. My dad never fully excepted it but your his kid and he will always love you. they might come around if not at least you have her. It's hard being gay. The looks you get, the way you get treated but it's just how we are. It's not a disorder or a disease. It's just how we were born. Own it, and dnt worry about what anyone says especially your parents. I know you love them and it's hard but there are people who understand you. YOUR NEVER ALONE. I have gone threw so much with my girl cuz of shit like that... I had even started to cut. But she keeps me going. She keeps me alive. not my mom or my dad but only her. If this girl does that for you. Tell her. work things out regardless of what they say. If you need a friend I'm on myspace and facebook a lot. my myspace URL is tori_1991. Just look me up.

Your advice helps anyways, Akka. It gives me a fair idea of what could be going through my father's head, and for that, I am grateful. I'm doing what I can to show him that I'm still his daughter.

Fossy, I don't think I have to say how amazing you are. Like I said, you're like my internet mommy <3

Thank you for your solid support, Warrior. Because we are a pack, and we will stick together. Through the thick and the thin.

I'm glad I stumbled across you on facebook, Moohn... because I find myself really admiring you. And when you say that you know how I feel, and that you've been in my shoes before... It means a lot to me. It really, truly does.

Thank you so much, guys. You know I'll need you.

Silvers, our stories are exactly the same, down to the grit and all. I went through the exact situation with a girl and my parents not knowing, and they still don't accept me. It was almost eerie to read this and be able to literally say I know how you feel.
My school just went through coming out week and we faced some prejudice that was hard to cope with, but even better was the overwhelming love and support my friends showed. So I'll try as best as I can to send it your way (through the magic of the interwebs) while you're facing this struggle. I wish the best for you, and you know we're here for you! <333

Silvers,

I just want you to know that you are loved. Please don't ever think that you aren't. I know how bad depression can be. It's an awful awful disease. As far as your parents go I can say this because I am a parent. No matter what, you always love you child. They may do things that you may not approve of or upset you but no matter what you love them. Now in this day and age I cannot fathom why they cannot be more accepting, but a lot of people are old fashioned in their thinking. It is just the way of a lot of the world. But know this sweetie, that we all here accept you and love you no matter what! We are a pack...family...in our own little way. You are loved!

As far as your relationship goes Silvers all I can tell you is that they aren't happily ever afters. They take work to get through sometimes and if it lasts through this 'dark' period then that is a good thing. It is true that stepping back from the situation can help one get a new look at things. Do not give up hope that it can't be remedied. Also I think you do need some time to figure you out. If you are needing to adjust that time away from your love will be a good time to do it, that way you don't lash out at her....we always hurt the ones closest to us. Think of it as a time to get to know yourself again not a time away from you love. You both love eachother right? That is a given. Put faith in it.

*HUGS* I am here for you to talk anytime you need to honey. We are pack! All of us. We have been through alot over the years. Hell you all were around when my second child was born! *Loves* Hang in there sweetie! WE LOVE YOU!!

Honestly, I don't know what you're going through, but I can understand (not fully, but enough. I at least know what being really depressed is like...). My dad's pretty old-fashioned, too, so I understand how stubborn they can be. Still, it's a good sign that your mum's trying to adapt, right? Any type of progress with news like this is good. I'm sure it's going to take time... lots of it... for your dad to at least get used to it. I'll tell you right now, I'm a church-goer, BUT, I do not condemn or hate people who aren't straight... heck, I have quite a few friends my dad wouldn't even approve of me having if he knew.

I would love to say that if you keep telling your dad you want to hang out with your friend, he'll eventually give in.... but I kinda doubt that. I'm not sure, but maybe if you somehow show your dad that you're the same person as ever and that being open with them isn't suddenly going to change how you behave, he might soften up.... a little bit. (I don't really know why people think this, but some do...) Then you can work from there, although this could take time, too. Don't think there's a quick fix for this, though, so you might consider trying different things at once. Talking it out in a civil manner is always the nicest route, but even when my dad and I talk about politics, we end up yelling -_-.

It's hard to give you good advice without really knowing your parents, but do your best to stay strong, and don't blame yourself. Yes, there are many 'if I had only... earlier' s, so think about what you're going to do next to find common ground with your parents. 'M sorry I can't give you any really good, specific advice. I can only give general suggestions. Hope it kinda helps in some way...

i might not be posting for a while. not because i don't want to, or don't have the time to. but because i'm falling into a serious depression.

though i usually hate to put personal information out there, i love you guys and know how supportive we are of each other. so i feel the need to tell everyone what's been going on. because if i don't... i don't want anyone wondering where i went.

i love this girl. her name is krystiana. we met last year over winter break, and have been together for 9 and a half months... but because of the forces beyond our control in this world, we're no longer allowed to be together. the entire time i was with her, i hadn't been out to my parents. they had no idea who she was, and krys had no idea who they were. for a long time, we went along with this, content with our little world. she was my escape, my fantasy, my everything that i had ever dreamed of... but i guess this is where we went wrong, because reality hit us hard. she began to fall for someone else because she knew that the things that we had wouldn't be able to survive my parents, if i had ever come out to them. in panic and pent-up frustration, i did come out to them. i'm constantly kicking myself now for not coming out to them earlier. i had some sliver of hope that if i came out to them and they accepted me, that our chances of staying together would be solid... but i'm an idiot. my mother had found out about us through my brother when we were only dating for 2 months and was gradually trying to accept it, but i don't know if she has. and my father... is an old-fashioned guy. i know he condemns me for being gay. and with the threat that my parents would reject her, we have to part. the two of us have been fighting so hard these past three weeks that we're tearing ourselves apart. we fight with ourselves and each other. we can't sleep and we can't eat and we can't live with this time killing us so slowly.

we love each other. there is absolutely no doubt about that. when we met, we called each other salvation. we had both been on the verge of suicide until we found one another. and we created a sanctuary for ourselves, a net that would always catch us. we mended each other's broken wings. but the world is what splits us apart, tears us away from each other. if this was another day in another time, where acceptance was as commonplace as a kind smile, then we both know that things would be different.

i don't know what's going to happen to us. we're essentially 'taking a break', so that my parents can have time to adjust to me being gay, for me to control my anger problems, and for her to get these feelings for another person out of her system, but... it's so complicated. because we're still in love, and we're still going to fight for each other. this is our promise to one another. neither of us want to do this, but we recognize that it's necessary. people tell me that 'taking a break' can be healthy for relationship, or it may mean that it's 'the nice way of breaking up'. i'm so ungodly confused. we still want to see one another, still do some of the things we do, but... it's like there's an invisible wall there. that terrifying thought that one day, we won't be there for each other anymore. that we'll find someone else and move on. but, we have our promise. that we will always be in each other's hearts. always.

i wrote a story about a Wolf and an Angel. in it, the Wolf lives in a winter forest, surrounded by his pack but feeling ever-so-alone, longing for love. one cold night, he finds a broken angel in a snowdrift, her wings bleeding and having fallen from heaven. he takes her back to his den and they comfort one another, heal one another, and learn to love the winter forest, dancing beneath the moonlight and singing to the stars. the Angel is the Wolf's guide, and the Wolf is her loyal protector. they believe that this will always remain true. one day, the Angel's wings are healed, and she starts to take flight again. the Wolf runs below, though he knows she will return to his den by the end of the day. but his anger consumes him and he lashes out and bites one of her wings, and everything falls apart. she doesn't know if she can trust him anymore - she's afraid of him, though he swears to never harm her. they wait in the den for many long days and sleepless nights, knowing that the winter is getting colder and the world is getting darker, and though they love one another, that they live in separate worlds. the Angel lives in heaven, and the Wolf, here in the forest. the Wolf has to let his Angel fly, because it is what needs to be... but if she ever were to fall again, he would always be there to catch her.

everything is so confusing... and nobody knows what to do. but i had to tell you guys, to get all of this off my chest. you're all amazing people, i can trust you this much. any advice or anything you have i'm willing to take. thank you so very much for listening to me.